The Price of Pretty: Overcoming Spending Addiction

Sherry* in her 40s, came to One Hope Centre (OHC) to seek help for her Spending Addiction. She has amassed huge debts with her credit cards and banks. In desperation, she had notions of suicide to end her misery. That was when a close Christian friend recommended her to come to OHC after seeing a poster pasted on the notice board of her Church.

Background

Sherry lives with her family comprising her parents and 2 other siblings in a 4-room HDB apartment. She shares a room with her sister. Her brother and his wife stay in the other room.

Sherry is a working professional who loved all things new, pretty and branded. Blouses, skirts, bags, shoes — you name it. Online stores, Orchard Road malls… Shopping gave her excitement and comfort.

The consequence

After many months of shopping, Sherry had maxed out five credit cards and chalked up huge debts on them. She was unable to pay off her credit cards and the interest on these was ballooning. Sherry had bought so many items that she had no more space in her home to store them. They flowed out from her room as her closets no longer had any space and spilled into the living room of her parents’ flat.  She was also unable to find any more space in other parts of her home to store her purchases. Her siblings also stopped letting her keep items in their closets as they could not find any more space to store their own things.

Things came to a critical point when Sherry was no longer able to support her daily living needs. Her family members criticised her for her overspending and used very harsh words on her. They also threatened to throw her items out of the house. At one point, the situation got so bad when they threatened to evict her if she continues with her purchases. Stressed, Sherry shopped even more. She cannot control herself and she also started to have a fear that her family members will leave her.  

The Intervention

She came to OHC following a friend’s recommendation.  Our counsellor put her on our Spending Addiction Recovery Programme. Through this programme, Sherry learnt to:

• identify her emotional triggers

• develop coping skills to help her with over-shopping

• understand the deep-rooted issues that led to her addiction

• set healthy boundaries with family

• practise self-care and rebuild her confidence

The Impact

After attending our Spending Addiction Recovery Programme, Sherry has learnt how to say ‘No’ to her siblings when they make unreasonable demands from her.  She also exercises self-care and respect for herself. Her family members also came to an understanding of why Sherry shopped so much. They learnt to change the way they speak to Sherry and to use kinder words. Following some weeks of counselling, she made some changes to her lifestyle on her own. She was able to identify the shopping triggers and will make plans to avoid the pitfalls of excessive shopping.

The Upliftment

Today, Sherry tells herself, “I am Sherry and I am a good person who loves my family, I want to look after my parents in their old age.”

She avoids going to the malls on weekends and instead takes walks with her aging parents at parks and beaches. She also spends time with them checking new and interesting places to have meals. Sherry is managing to pay off her debts slowly but surely and one step at a time.  

*Not her real name

If you or someone you know has a Spending Addiction, we can help. Contact 65471011 or email help@onehopecentre.org. Take that first step towards recovery.

Spending leading to huge debts.